Alarm Bells and Red Lights To Recognise When Dating Part 2: Your Date Shouldn't Be Glued to Their Phone (A No Bullsh#t Guide for men

 Some thoughts, gathered from personal failures, anecdotes from others, hard gained experience and valued mentorship.

As the old song goes: “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger….”

In the age of smartphones, finding someone who isn't tethered to their mobile device can feel like a rare gem. But when you're on a date, that glowing screen can be an unwelcome third wheel. Let's be clear: your time and presence are valuable. If your date is constantly engrossed in their phone, it's time to consider sending them packing. Here's why and how to do it.

Respect Is Non-Negotiable:

   Respect is the foundation of any meaningful connection. When your date can't peel their eyes away from their screen, it sends a clear message: they don't value your time or the opportunity to get to know you. 

Real Connections Require Real Presence:

   Meaningful connections happen when two people are fully present with each other. If your date is more interested in their virtual world than the real one, it's a sign that they're not invested in building a connection with you.

It's Just Plain Rude:

   Let's call a spade a spade. Ignoring someone to stare at your phone is rude. It's dismissive and inconsiderate behaviour that you shouldn't tolerate.

Communication Is Key:

   Effective communication is the backbone of any successful relationship. If your date is glued to their device, they're failing this fundamental test of basic communication skills.

You Deserve Better:

   Your time is precious. You're out on a date to enjoy someone's company, share experiences, and potentially build a connection. If your date can't be bothered to engage with you, they're not worth your time.

Now, here's how to handle the situation:

Speak Up: Politely express your feelings. Let them know that you feel ignored or undervalued when they're on their phone constantly. Sometimes, people aren't aware of their behaviour until it's pointed out.

Set Expectations Early: Before the date, you can mention your preference for device-free interaction. This sets the tone and ensures you're both on the same page from the start.

Give Them a Chance: Everyone can have a slip-up or a legitimate reason to check their phone briefly. If it happens once, it might not be a dealbreaker. But if it becomes a pattern, be prepared to follow through on your decision.

Choose Quality Over Quantity: It's better to have a shorter, focused date with someone who values your time than a longer, distracted one. If the date isn't salvageable, there's no shame in ending it early.

Be Ready to Move On: If your date's behaviour doesn't change after you've addressed it, be prepared to walk away. Remember, you deserve someone who respects and values you enough to be present when you're together.

Guys, your time is too valuable to waste on someone who can't be bothered to put down their phone during a date. It's not about being controlling; it's about expecting respect and genuine connection. So, don't be afraid to send them packing if they can't pass this basic test of consideration and courtesy.